Roger D. Linder: FAWM 50-90-2024
Artist
Roger D. Linder
- Hey Neighbor!
- Hot Time in The Hot Tub Tonight
- The Boxer
- What's It Like?
- Big Train
- Virtual Reality
- Where's The Muse?
- Prime Day
- Why Can't I Remember You?
- Goes To Eleven
- 2004 - Houseful of Dogs
- Antelope
- Cheese
- Dilemma
- Gibberish, or Sense?
- Getting Fired
- No Can Do
- Monied Versus You
- Ancient Memories
- Skip It
- Bungled
- Toward Bliss
- Concert Etiquette
- Choices
- Cola Wars
- Changes
- August Thunder
- My Generation
- Money Tree
- Desperation
- No Speak
- Do I Do
- Fixing a Hole
- Predictive Text
- Words
- My Days Are Numbered
- Futurama III (and II)
- Left Off My Next Album
- Kansas
- The Tragedy of Marie
- The Song
- Rio Linda
- Elevator
- A Concept of a Song
- They're Eating The Dogs!
- Too Much Tech
- The Singer
- The Box
- Scrambled Eggs
- The Winner
Hey Neighbor!
There's a cobweb on your car
Looks like you don't drive too far
It's just a little bit bizarre
You even have one
Hey Neighbor!
Get that junker off the street
For my eyes it is no treat
Seeing it towed would be so sweet
My idea of fun
Hey Neighbor!
I see that patch of weeds
It's beginning to make seeds
But no matter what my screed
You just don't mow it
Hey Neighbor!
Would it hurt to plant some grass?
I don't want to sound too crass
But get off your lazy ass
Take pride and show it!
But don't you dare turn the tables
And point out all my foibles
Equating me with you
As if that's even true
Hey Neighbor!
Perhaps we are the same
We all carry the blame
And have to face the shame
Of our inaction
Hey Neighbor!
Please let me lend a hand
Together take a stand
And all goodwill expand
Please accept my redaction
Checked the temp, it's 108
It's not my cup of tea
If I just tried to dip a toe
The cup of tea is me
It's a hot time in the hot tub tonight
The time to soak is nought
I'm better off cooling in the pool
Where the temp is not so hot
The day was only hundred ten
It broke the record easily
An hour in the heat I found
I left it someone queasily
A hot time in the hot tub
No cooler in the pool
Another moment spent outside
I'm sure I'd be the fool.
There's no relief, that's my belief
I have a beef with weather
The wave is hear, that's what I fear
We're all in this together
Never thought I'd be a boxer
Never even wore the glove
Then I put my first foot forward
Found a sport that I could love
Uppercut and throwing punches
Out and back here flies my fist
Pound-for-pound I am a champion
Yes, a real pugilist
Watch him when he pulls his punches
Strike him when he's dropped his guard
Lay a right cross to his glass jaw
Down he goes, and falling hard
It's a knockout? No, he rises
He's not really down and out
Back he come with kidney punches
Foul, I cry, and pause the bout
Take a breather, catch my breath
I'm breaking sweat, not bleeding bad
Back into it, there's a low blow
Down I go onto the pad
Ref is chanting out an eight count
On my knees I groan and rise
Feigning injured, pull a fast one
Nail my fist between his eyes
Down he goes, now for the last time
Arm is raised in victory
Underdog, they called me one time
Cheering, making history
I've been here for seven decades
Never saw inside a ring
But I found I am enjoying
Boxing on this VR thing
What's it like to be a tiger?
What's it like to be a man?
Is it strength and muscle fiber?
Is it someone's master plan?
I can't be man/cat together
I can't be a blend of both
I refuse to choose whatever
Fate, selection, or sworn oath
Never will I follow that path
Never will I tread that trail
I would rather face the sure wrath
Than to live beyond the pale
Is it choice, or is it fate?
Was it set back in my youth?
Could it be that it's too late?
That my fear is now the truth?
What's it like to be a tiger?
That is what I have to face
Man or beast, a great divider
It's a fate I must embrace
Saw the biggest train today
Did not hitch a ride
Only stopped it just to say
Would you be my guide?
Off you go to parts unknown
Just like my soul wanders
Need a path to call my own
One I shall not squander
Only time will tell my tale
Faced with immaturity
When the clock sounds its last bell
Lost in my obscurity
Words, they fall from who knows where
Cannot form a sentence
Truth I find too much to bear
Lacking in repentance
Train is moving down the track
Full in forward motion
What I seek lies far beyond
Today, it's just a notion
I can live on a desert island
I can sail on the raging sea
I can be anywhere I want to
In virtual reality
I can see everyone I want to
I can take it for a solo spin
I can fight scary mighty scary dragons
I can take one on the chin
There's no limit I can find
'Cept of course the paying kind
Everything I do is free
In virtual reality
I can relax in meditation
I can flee from a scary dog
I can bowl a perfect game now
I can get lost in a fog
I can fish without a license
I can shoot pool with a shark
I can cook up massive dinners
Everything is just a lark
There's no limit I can find
'Cept of course the paying kind
Everything I do is free
In virtual reality
Take a tour in a magical land
Ocean waves and calming sand
It doesn't matter where I stand
Even play a concert grand
I can box 'til a full round knockout
I can hit homers 'til I'm bushed
I can shoot hoops like a pro can
I can shove when I've been pushed
There's no limit I can find
'Cept of course the paying kind
Everything I do is free
In virtual reality
A song is stuck inside my brain
I'm not sure it is mine
A tune, a snappy, tight refrain
It happens all the time
The music trickles in my ear
The words they come as well
But when my time is free and clear
It bids itself farewell
It's like the tune was never there
The words are long forgotten
To me it's such a sad affair
I think there's something rotten
A song should sing, and words express
True meaning or emotion
But now I only find distress
It's such a simple notion
I reach and grasp at simple lines
But rhyming them, unable
I should be seeing all the signs
But fail to turn the table
Ne'er a wordsmith, nor a poet
Crafting music is a skill
Should I give up? Don't I know it?
Soldier on, it's not a drill
Prime Day!
Wanted a camcorder
Quickly made an order
Now stuck at the border
Prime Day!
Stuff I really needed
Limit is exceeded
Feel like I've been cheated
Every time the days come by
I feel I have to buy and buy
Kiss my money all goodbye
Need more credit, must apply
Prime Day!
Waited for a whole year
Anything I need here?
Need a sale to appear
Prime Day!
Lots of electronics
Feel a bit moronic
My condition's chronic
Prime Day!
Eighty inch wide TV
Oh, my wife can't agree
Spending is too carefree
Black Friday does not compare
Something strange is in the air
Find a bargain, but a pair
Something good now over there
Prime Day!
Now we're down to hours
That thing could be ours
'Til the feeling sours
Prime Day!
Sale has expired
Now I'm oh so tired
No more is desired
That face it doesn't ring a bell
Your voice is merely sound
Your perfume's not a familiar smell
In my mind you are not found
Why can't I remember you?
That sweet smile, your eyes of blue
The long blond hair, the locks that curl
I can't recall you as a girl
You say you know me, that it's true
That we were friends, and lovers, too
At one time we'd shared our hearts
And time has made us grow apart
Why can't I remember you?
The way you walk, the stride I knew
I think way back, I draw a blank
It's more than passing time to thank
You try to share our moments past
But memories like that should last
I can't recall a single thing
That in my life your song should sing
It's not for lack of trying, though
It's not for lack of will
The more I look for times we had
The less I find and still
Why can't I remember you?
Not a sign, not a clue
A stranger you'll forever be
I don't think that you do know me
This one goes to eleven
No one's quite as loud
Sends you straight into Heaven
Couldn't be more proud
Amps and strings are quiet things
Until you flip the switch
But the ones that go to ten
Don't satisfy the itch
"Couldn't you just make ten louder?"
He tells me with a sigh
I stare him down, he's such a doubter
In answer, so say I
"This one goes to eleven
It's just a bit more
You would like perhaps just seven?
That would be a bore"
On the stage, the crowd roars for me
Standing firm I see them chant
All the people showing their glee
Give them more than they could want
This one goes to eleven
Why not thirteen, why not twelve?
Take it as a newfound lesson
That's as far as I will delve
As I recall, the house was quiet
It happened on that fateful night
A new member had joined our clan
She was neither woman nor man
A dog, we named her Pandora
As a puppy we adored her
We tempted fate, that sobriquet
Then came Bud on that fateful day
Bud and Pan, they liked each other
Soon in time, Pan was a mother
First puppy one, then puppy two
Then there were six, before we knew
Woe is us, houseful of dogs
Would we have had that dialogue
We might have opted for a cat
And saved us from what Pan begat
Samson had the longest hair
Princess had a face that’s fair
Teddy looked just like a bear
Pepper liked to sneeze
Shadow’s coat was black and white
Morgan cowered as in fright
All of them barked through the night
Every one had fleas
Woe is us, houseful of dogs
Would we have had that dialogue
We might have opted for a cat
And saved us from what Pan begat
Antelope, it is my home
The deer don't play, nor buffalo roam
It's just a small town, close to Sac
One that the 80's did bring back
An 1800's railroad town
It was a train that brought it all down
When they exploded in '73
There wasn't much left there to see
A store, the P.O. all were gone
And several houses, now well done
The blasts we heard from miles away
We wondered who would survive that day
I woke that morning from the boom
And wondered who had crashed my room
The train, the bombs, all up in flame
Not how the town wanted to gain fame
The lucky part, no one was hurt
Though years later, deep in the dirt
More bombs were found, and they were live
How could a town like that survive?
But through it all, it overcame
And all the people rose to proclaim
We'll build this city, from the rubble
We'll work, our efforts will redouble
So now it's been over 50 years
And the memories of those dark days blurs
The town, once small, now 50 grand
A phoenix from a netherland
Is Gouda good?
Is Swiss a miss?
Is cheddar better?
Muenster monstrous?
It’s all great when you start to grate
Some Parmesan on your spaghetti plate
A piece of American melts so nice
When it sits between a double bread slice
Bleu or Brie, stop teasing me
I’ll take them both, as that may be
Camembert, a bit of jam
“You’re cheesy!” It’s the way I am!
Chèvre, never a big fan
Maybe try it once again
Pungent, bright, comes from a goat
Unlike fontina, wearing its red coat
Havarti’s arty
Jack is whack
Provolone brings flavor back
Ricotta oughta
Pass through your lips
Followed by a hand
Full of cheese nips
Cheese? You ask and I say please!
Mozzarella, more for me!
I like to code and I like to write
But something tells me the the time's not right
To do them both would be a task
A simpler time is what I would ask
I code a line, then write a song
Before I'm done it all goes wrong
The code has bugs, the song, no tune
I must come up with something better soon
Infinite loop, that takes some time
While it's running, I'll try a rhyme
The CPU is all worn out
I must consider a different route
I toss the words at an AI
The tune it makes is all cockeyed
No one will ever sing that song
Once again, it all goes wrong
A writing partner could take the load
But I have never taken that road
A solo work is all I've sought
But falling behind puts me on the spot
Lay down the pen, back to the keys
Whatever I code I hope will please
It may not rhyme, but distraction free
I write the program, now easily
The moral, I guess, is not to do
A bunch at once, not even two
Focusing, I will succeed
To stay aware, I will accede
The monkeys will attack at dawn
The cats and apes are on the lawn
The jackal heaves a weary sigh
When all the birds are flying by
The horses trot and stomp their hooves
The rabid dogs put on their gloves
The boxing zebras flare their stripes
The lone man ducks, avoids the swipe
It all unrolls, a crazy dream
Where nothing sane is as it seems
The world reverses on its spin
The whole thing is a crashing din
Insanity becomes the norm
A twisting fate seen as the worm
It all becomes so hideous
Yet we stand there, oblivious
The failure then consumes us all
We fail to see its simple call
The world at peace, it is our goal
At stake is our immortal soul
I cooked the books, was it a crime?
And now they say I'm doing time
I only thought I'd spare them all
And save them from the boss's call
Corruption reigned throughout the staff
A party here, perhaps a laugh
But when time came to pay the bill
I found the means to try my skill
A second set of books appeared
To avoid things that seemed weird
A debit here, a credit there
At first it only seemed to be fair
Alas, it took a wicked turn
That's when I found I had to burn
The building down, to hide my tracks
And once it lit, no turning back
The flames grew high, and all was lost
Insurance did not cover the cost
And out of work, just like a worm
It was the workers time to squirm
They knew the truth, they must be stopped
And just like that, each one was dropped
They didn't know who laid them out
And I was free, without a doubt
But hidden cameras caught the scene
The prosecutors all were mean
Now I find myself in jail
And pass along my sad, sad tale
The slightest touch can prove too much
The tile moves a fraction
The greatest cost would be a loss
By the other side’s inaction
The ancient art of No Can Do
Is all about inertia
Equal and opposing force
A minimum of pushing
It can apply to physical things
But the application’s wider
It starts with the way one sings
Then something comes from inside you
A simple note
Within the throat
Just like the Tuvan chanter
The counterpoint
Starts to disjoint
The other singer’s banter
It’s out of phase
And out of place
The melody is canceled
The silence roars
Within our ears
As alternates are handled
The ancient art of No Can Do
Is popular in Asia
Origins in Kathmandu
In sound it's like aphrasia
I want to be rich so I’m taking your stuff
I have much already but it’s not enough
It's money I'm seeking, but I'll take it all
It doesn't much matter if you take the fall
The more I can stack up, the better I'll be
The small batch you're left with is OK with me
I'll grab it up later, you won't have a cent
But I will be happy, and you'll just lament
But your day is coming, you'll get a free ride
You just have to bear with it, try not to hide
You really don't need it, you've lived long enough
Just don't you come crawling, it isn't that tough
Pull up by your bootstraps, you start out at zero
The higher you rise, you can be that hero
But don't you dare try to stand in my way
I'm better than you are and I have more say
For richer for poorer, it's not in my sight
It's richer for me, for you it's just blight
I'll keep what I get and give nothing away
You're no better off now than you were yesterday
I had a great idea while in bed
But when I got up, my brain went dead
Only took a moment's hesitation
That moment's caused annihilation
Whatever happened to instant recall?
If only I could find that windfall
A DVR recording of my mind
If only there were something of that kind
Memory is not as strong
Neurons not where they belong
Fading fast, but not a race
Capture it while still a trace
Where was I going? I can't remember.
Body is a May, mind December.
If not for a sticky to remind me
I would leave everything behind me.
Word is coming, tongue is flapping wildly
Thought beforehand guides its function mildly
But the thought has drifted as if spaceward
And the gibberish comes out, displaced word
Memory is not as strong
Neurons not where they belong
Fading fast, but not a race
Capture it while still a trace
Everywhere, today I see
A pair of pics, cute as could be
A little girl, her parents fraught
The search for her has turned up aught
Or maybe it is just a cat
No one has knowledge where it's at
It disappeared in their hometown
Lord knows it might have even drowned
The problem with this sad affair
"It only takes two secs to share"
The pictures and the story's goal
Is out to make us look the fool
So when you see that sad, sad tale
Don't cry for them, don't start to wail
Just keep on scrolling, skip the bait
Another day, another fate
Spent the day out of touch
Normally wouldn't mean that much
The problem was self-induced
I cut the wire and now no juice
A day without the Internet
Not what I want at the outset
Now I have to find some fun
And do some things I should have done
To garden doesn't need the net
Except to water, I did forget
And now my lawn is turning brown
Should not have brought the network down
A lazy evening on the tube
No smart TV, I'm such a rube
I cannot get my Netflix fix
I cannot get my Facebook clicks
Alexa tell me what to do?
"Cannot respond, not hearing you"
It's getting dark, now here's a hitch
I have to stand to reach a switch
My lazy bones are just not used
To doing stuff, I've been abused
The automation controls me
Without it, truly, I'm at sea
I was falling far behind
The life I'd led, the fault was mine
The path not taken, choices made
I never, ever, made the grade
I found some solace with a stick
But ended only getting sick
And to the streets I found that I
Was slowly drifting down to die
"Helping hand?" I cried in vain
No one but myself to blame
Further down the road I trod
Failing to see that I was flawed
I once again tried to reach out
But only grabbed some more self-doubt
The constant pain, being rejected
Left me only further dejected
But then I reached that damned nadir
The spot that I could only fear
It's only up that I can go
I needed just to believe it so
And so with that my new resolve
My sordid past did then dissolve
The reach I needed was within
To take me from my inner sin
The lowest low, now left behind
I vowed to be forever kind
I climbed out of the deep abyss
And ambled toward a newfound bliss
Hey! You! Standing in the crowd
You know? Standing's not allowed
When you stand you block my view
Sit down for a sec or two
When I bought my ticket
I expected a great show
But now you stand before me
And that's just a big no
Hey! You! Singing all the words
I came to hope the singer's heard
But you are louder than the band
This is not what I had planned
Hey! You! Lady with big hair
Who gave you the right to sit there
I can't see around that hive
Really want to see them live
Your head is just enormous
You body is too wide
My line of sight is vanquished
At least just move aside
And the fool that's dancing
Right up by the stage
Maybe just take a seat
Maybe act your age
Hey! You! Talking up a storm
Don't know? Talking's not the norm
Take your conversation out
Too loud? You don't have to shout
Hey! You! Kicking at my chair
Long legs? Say it isn't fair?
Stand up, long as you're behind
Block them, that I do not mind
When I buy some concert tix
I prefer a private mix
Better off the hall is bare
Missing much? I just don't care
I can see the happy people coming up the road
I can hear their happy voices, joyfulness explodes
What they're saying with those voices brightens up my day
What they're showing me is that there is a better way
They are people of a mind
Don't let themselves be in a bind
They accept their fellow man
Black, brown, yellow, red and tan
I can see the saddest people, travelin' the same road
But unlike the happy people, they carry such a load
Glum expressions, tearful outlook, nation is quite dead
You can spot them, easily, in their hats of red
They are people of a mind
Rarely spotted being kind
Can't accept their fellow man
Hate for women, books they ban
Yet, I know that both have merit, both do have their flaws
One side wants to cancel others, one wants stronger laws
Taxes, tariffs, deportation, issues dividing all
When it comes to making choices, voters make the call
Voices will be heard, November
"Forget the past." No, remember
Find the path that forward goes
The road we take now, no one knows
Pepsi Cola, Coca-Cola, I recall the Cola Wars
"Ours is better," "Ours is sweeter," taste tests just like fine wine pours
When it all comes down to it, doesn't really matter a bit
Grab a can and chug it down, make a smile from that old frown
When I was young a Double Cola was my drink of choice
Packed as eight, instead of six, two extra were a joy
A Royal Crown did also make me feel just like a king
Shasta Cola often found a taste for my drinking
Then I dumped it all when I discovered Mountain Dew
That became my drink of choice, cola: number two
Dr. Pepper wasn't really very far behind
I had rather varied tastes, I could not be confined
But then new cola wars began, the fight again ensued
New Coke was now the one to beat, the war now was renewed
Swept up in the new battle I began to doubt my choice
New Coke was not that satisfying, had to raise my voice
Then Coca-Cola found that it did not have a hit
It brought back Classic Coke and now my Dew was not all it
A Classic Coke added some flavors that suited my taste
The spoils of war, I dived back in, there was no time to waste
And now it's been so many years, I waver often not
I stayed with Coke, but sometimes choose whatever hits the spot
My fridge contains a large variety, many a can
So faithful to the Cola Wars? I'm no longer that man.
My first big hit was with The Beatles
Kept me up on pins and needles
Waiting for the next big thing
Man, could they just play and sing
Then I found the TV Monkees
I became a real junkie
When it ended, I was broken
Truer words were never spoken
Took a while, but tastes were shifting
Through the genres I was sifting
Jumped right into heavy metal
This was where I chose to settle
Purple, Sabbath, made my day
Uriah Heep was here to stay
Took a girl to their show
Was some fifty years ago
Now that girl became my girlfriend
Sparking a long romance to ne'er end
Eventually became my wife
Now forty-eight years of my life
Through it all was music constant
Seeing many folks in concert
Five buck tickets were the norm
Loved to see these groups perform
As the tickets got more costly
Concerts were left behind, mostly
Went a few years with no shows
Always sad we couldn't go
But the times they improved somewhat
Focused on those who made the big cut
Rundgren and Utopia ruled
They became my new crown jewels
Now today a number one fan
Try to see him whenever we can
Smack my head when some say "Todd who?"
What they're missing? If they only knew
When the date is summertime
There's no rain, that is our clime
Nary do a drop we see
World is brown, despite our plea
But sometimes you have to wonder
When we hear some August thunder
Bringing with it sheets of rain
Is drought over? Inches gained?
As we ease into the Autumn
Seeing it as Winter's bottom
Leaves that thirsted for the wet
Now cannot adhere as yet
Silently they hit the ground
Cool air now is all around
Then the heat returns with vengeance
Boldly paying no allegiance
Elsewhere in this land we love
Winter falls from far above
Gentle snowflakes from the sky
But at home, we're still bone dry
There's no rain in California
When it's needed, here to warn you
Finally it sees it day
Floods that wash all else away
Mother nature has a fit
Burn scars on the face if it
Water flowing, no control
Only hope to save our souls
You may see my generation
As a bunch of doddering fools
Change that now to veneration
Taking you now all to school
Baby boomers are my people
Forty-six to fifty-four
Many dare to call us sheeple
Hardly what you'd call hardcore
We're the last to face the draft
Many fought a wicked fight
Some came home and got the shaft
Some did not, eternal night
But for us that did not serve
For whatever reason we had had
It really took a lot of nerve
To stand up against what we thought was bad
Some turned to drugs as a relief
Turned on, tuned in and dropped out
They promoted that path as their belief
But failed to know what it was all about
Others found their way to playing
I found that my claim to fame
On this path I would be staying
Hoping to make myself a name
But my music dreams did fall though
Did not make it to the top
Wondering what chances I blew
Nevertheless I did not stop
Took up my guitar after a hiatus
Got those fingers good and sore
Wondered now if fame awaited
Was the dream stardom like before?
So my generation may have stumbled
Here and there along the road
But the hopes have never crumbled
We can still carry the load
If I had a money tree
I'd pick it every day
I wouldn't keep a cent for me
I'd give it all away
It makes no sense to keep it all
The greatest of a big windfall
I have enough to get me by
The extra loss won't bleed me dry
If I had a big gold mine
I grab up all the ore
It wouldn't be my personal shrine
That simply'd be a bore
It make no sense to keep it all
There's always a big daily haul
Another nugget in my view
Is better off from me to you
Riches made are meant to share
Always have a lot to spare
Give it away, don't have a care
A feeling that I can't compare
If I had a dollar bill
I'd like to see it grow
Multiplied by millions still
That way I'd really show
It makes no sense to keep it all
That pittance is so really small
To help someone is my reward
So nothing that I need to hoard
Sun's not shining, clouds are dark
Don't know why outlook's so stark
Should be somewhere safe and sound
Somewhere where I can't be found
Running like there's no tomorrow
Life is only filled with sorrow
Deeply hidden from my past
Going to catch up with me at last
Tried the drinking, just got sick
Tried the smoking, gave up quick
Tried, but found myself a mess
Found I could not decompress
Everywhere I see a path
That might lead me somewhere new
It just leads from joy to wrath
Don't know what to do
Darkness lingers, fear is showing
Hiding, don't know where I'm going
End it all, my mind is screaming
Hate myself for this daydreaming
Need some help, I'm not alone
Reaching out to find that aid
For my sins I must atone
Must face the future unafraid
I’m not authorized to speak
Nor substantiate a rumor
Falsification’s at its peak
Especially ill humor
Lies are taken to be fact
The populace is puzzled
The purpose there is to distract
From everyone’s true struggles
It doesn’t matter who’s the source
If lips are moving, lying
The truth it seems is not enforced
They are not even trying
A cautionary tale, this
The words are out there somewhere
Unfortunately we’re remiss
For that we must be aware
Do I do or don’t I do
I didn’t think I’d be with you
For when I saw you sit with him
My hopes were nothing but a whim
But there you were, I held out hope
And found that you had dumped that dope
I waited, didn’t swoop right in
But when I did, it was a win
Our first date wasn’t quite so grand
You didn’t really like the band
But when it came to number two
I found that any doubts were through
We took it easy, just at first
Some hesitation was the worst
You finally took my simple kiss
That filled me with the utmost bliss
So would you do, when I asked you
That we’d be one, no longer two?
Would we together share a life?
Would you accept and be my wife?
You did “I do,” and so did I
To single life we said goodbye
For nearly fifty we’ve been blessed
And looking forward to the rest
Roads with potholes make me feel
That I’m not behind the wheel
I’m just on a bumpy ride
One that I just can’t abide
When construction’s in the way
Really doesn’t make my day
When the cone is on the ground
Do I stop or go around?
Road is blocked, must turn around
Seems I’m always losing ground
If I find a safe retreat
What new fate will I then meet?
Now I have a fender bent
Don’t see where the other went
Ire makes my face go red
How has fate to this site led?
To the shop must I now go
Tell me, please, it isn’t so
Find insurance will not cover
Wish that I could find that other
Limping home after this trial
May not want to drive a while
All to fix a simple hole
Tears into my very soul
As I write with predictive text
What’s the word that comes up next?
Will it change my very thought?
Make a sentence I would not?
If you want me to make sense
Words that follow are intense
I’m not going anywhere
I’m just trying not to care
Should I get a new phone or
Something that’s not quite a bore
Than a random list of words
Basically they are unheard
Just like you I guess you know
No one cares where this will go
It’s a testament to how
Such a thing exists and now
I will never understand
What it means for the world and
All the people that are born
Really are the ones forlorn
Words fall onto empty ears
Ones that I had once held dear
Might as well fall on the ground
Once they’re there, just step around
Words flow silent through the air
Not one heard with love or care
From the tongue they issue forth
Never caught for what it’s worth
If in silence I must live
Even though I’ve much to give
Cannot bear not being heard
After all, they’re only words
Take one, take two, form a sentence
Then they’re stopped, there is no patience
Better they be left unsaid
Better keep them in my head
Be it humor, be it kind
To the others, never mind
Words can be for harm or good
On them has my life withstood
I fear the days are coming soon
All my favorites gone
Nothing to which I'll attune
None left to sing the song
The fifties are a distant past
The artists now are few
Sedaka, Anka still with us
Their way is hard to do
Now sixties have some pioneers
That really hit with me
They really touched my listening ears
But rarely do we see
Elton, retired from the road
His keys are silent still
And Rivers also having slowed
The seats no longer filled
My days are numbered, that I fear
Interest has waned
The acts began to disappear
And now I'm feeling pained
I cannot follow those today
Who deign to take the stage
Their talent may be on display
Guess I'm just showing age
Where will I be when all my faves
Have finally retired?
I must rely on the airwaves
For those I had admired
Another suburban Sunday evening
I'm having a sit to start the Fall
I'm waiting to watch an hour or two of Fox's
Only to find nothing at all
Futurama's been canceled and no one thought to tell me
There's only so much I have left to take
I can only stare into the distance
If it's a dream I only want to wake
Many years ago, someone took my time
And stopped it like someone hit the brake
Another pay cable Thursday evening
Favorite show back on the air
I cannot watch 'cause I only have antenna
To me that is just so unfair
I can pout and kick and scream but it's to no avail
I really, really only want to watch
I hope that someday it will be released on DVD soon
Or maybe, maybe, come on back to Fox
Many years ago, my favorite came back
Only to be hind a cable lock
A decade of time has passed before me
I find there is something on Hulu
Then there on the screen are shiny metal asses
My favorite has returned, who knew?
I sit right down and binge it all then stare into the distance
I salivate, more episodes to come
Season nine has just arrived and soon it will be over
Season ten cannot be here too soon
Many years from now, I'll be there on the tube
Enjoying what three thousand world is like
Many years from now
Many years from now
Many years from now
Verse
Hadn't written for a while
All my chops were rusty
All the words that I laid out
Came off a little dusty
Chords were wacky from the start
Melody was tuneless
That's when I soon realized
That everything was hopeless
Chorus
Left off my next album
Couldn't bear to hear
That it wasn't up to snuff
Too hard on the ear
Left off my next album
Fans would have to wait
If there isn't any better
That could be my fate
Verse
So I penned a second tune
Maybe it was better
Hoped I'd followed all the rules
Strictly to the letter
But the words did not make sense
Didn't call for action
They said it was all nonsense
It just had no traction
Chorus
Left off my next album
Now strike number two
If I write another dud
I will soon be through
Left off my next album
Well cannot be dry
If I can't get going
Might break down and cry
Bridge
Gathered up some music friends
Laid out a new jam
Hope the means support the end
Find out who I am
Verse
Captured everything we wrote
Really got it going
When I rocked, I rocked the boat
Soon was overflowing
All the friends did split the scene
Couldn't keep the rhythm
Found that I had been cut clean
Could not sing it with 'em
Chorus
Left off my next album
Didn't sing a word
Erased all the vocal tracks
Now they're never heard
Left off my next album
Didn't sing a note
Lotsa tracks, but got no thanks
No is all she wrote
I can't write a song about Kansas
Without ambiguities
Wikipedia does tell me
There are quite a few of these
Kansas, it's a state
Known for their wheat and corn
Eisenhower there was born
Wild West began to form
Kansas, it's a place
Rainbow gateway to the Wiz
That's at least what Dorothy says
If you believe L. Frank, that is
Kansas, it's a band
Prog rock is their game
Dust in wind part of their fame
Some born there, they took the name
Arkansas, it's a river
Flowing right through Wichita
Do not say Ar-Kan-Saw
That just rates a big guffaw
Many more things I could quote
Asteroid and two big boats
I might have an anecdote
Or just this final note
It's a tragedy for Marie
One for years no one could see
Started out an innocent teen
Into a world that wasn't foreseen
Rod, a man of age twenty-three
Had his eye out for sweet Marie
Though he knew she was underage
His desire could not be assuaged
First he plied her with alcohol
To the point she did not care at all
Had his way with her one night
Told her everything would be all right
It may have just been escapist fun
But the outcome had left her stunned
When the baby was on its way
There was nothing that she could say
Speaking quietly to father Rod
Who she worshiped as if a god
"We can't let this news get out"
"Of that, I am sure there's no doubt"
In the darkness of night they fled
Knowing only their fear and dread
Seeking out a quick remedy
Some way to terminate pregnancy
When the sad deed had been performed
"It has ended" they were informed
Gloomily went on their way
"We must never speak of this day"
"Though it may seem treasonous,
No one must ever know of us
We must put between us a wall
No one can suspect at all."
Marie and Rod then parted ways
No one night stand ever raised
Until on that fateful day
Rod's confession on display
Never naming sweet Marie
Rod did admit to the deed
Went to trial and plead his crime
Sentenced, had to do his time
But time brought in Marie's boyfriend
To him her truth she did extend
Away he went in evil rage
For Rod he wanted to engage
The sight of Rod made his blood boil
He drew the gun, felt the recoil
Down went Rod, then turned with dread
The firearm on his own head
The tragedy of sweet Marie
Now on display for all to see
Will haunt her to her dying day
And leave her life a shade of gray
Sometimes I just like to write whatever’s on my mind
I can usually come up with one or two fine lines
Nothing that I say will change the world a little bit
But if I can find a spark it could be a big hit
Fame’s elusive, it is true
For the goal it’s what I do
I may never make the grade
But I take pride in what I’ve made
It takes a bit of time, I know, to put these words together
Unless they really carry weight, they will not last forever
A pen to paper writing verse a hundred years ago
Had little chance of being read by those not in the know
But a chunk just might remain
Lost and found and bringing fame
Stuck inside a dusty book
Someone takes a second look
“It’s a work of art,” declared by many in this time
The words, the rhymes, the meter, everything is just sublime
Never in a hundred years has this mood been expressed
Cannot fathom why this work of art had been suppressed
So the song makes its debut
Everybody thinks it’s new
Hits the charts at number one
And its fame has just begun
Then in time, the truth revealed, they find this song is old
Yet it’s not a scandal but a marvel to behold
Ancient words have come to life in another era
That it happened is this time cannot be an error
Truth is deep, it touches souls
Modern times it serves as well
Poet from a century past
Has found intended ears at last
Rio Linda, “Beautiful River”
That’s what the conmen made you think
A trickle of water in the heat of summer
Not even enough to take a drink
Hundreds were convinced, bought into a homestead
Only to find the ground was too hard
Built them some houses, started a town there
Only enough soil to plant a yard
“Poultry’s the future! We’ll raise some chickens
They only need to scavenge the ground”
Soon there were thousands, meat birds and lain eggs
Rio Linda soon found some fame as a town
Second to only Petaluma,
Chickens and eggs were the big thing
Industry grew, but at steep cost
Everything in town did stink
Over the years, demand did dwindle
Tighter became the community
Maybe a few bad eggs were noticed
A radio host dissed them with impunity
Limbaugh went national, infamy fed
RL became the butt of all jokes
"For those of you in Rio Linda"
Drew a broad brush over many good folks
But then some tragedy brought a new fame
Rio Linda under water again
Clinton did visit and shored up the town
Bought all the chili from the local drive-in
Town caught some action, water diverted
Threats of flooding now minimized
Damage from Limbaugh was now long forgotten
And RL did prosper to many's surprise
Centennial party, a very big hit
And now every year, a great country faire
Parades and zucchini, tractors and lights
And fourth of July fireworks up in the air
The small town, the phoenix
Survived its own crash
And continues to thrive
And still makes a splash
When I step in an elevator
I expect a simple ride
Quickly to my destination
Quietly I wait inside
Politely nodding to the others
Sharing that short ride with me
Always thoughtful, unsuspecting
I would ever fearful be
On that fateful day while lifting
Came upon a sudden surge
Seems a lifetime flashed before me
Quick escape my only urge
Down we dropped, it seemed forever
Must have been a hundred miles
Screams of terror now engulfed us
Frowns replaced our simple smiles
In an instant, motion halted
From the ceiling, hit the floor
Human carnage, sounds of weeping
Wondering if we’d fall some more
Seeking some communication
Grabbed the cabinet telephone
Could not raise a single person
We were left there, all alone
Panicked, screaming for a rescue
Banging on the inner door
Once again, saw our lives fleeting
Had no sense what was in store
Then, with hope, a sound above us
Rescue from a fire crew
Panel in the ceiling opened
Safety as they pulled us through
When I face an elevator
I recall that day’s great fears
I expect from this day forward
I will always take the stairs
Just a concept of a song
It does not go on too long
You may think that it is wrong
And it should even not belong
It is really not thought out
I've no idea what it's all about
If I sell it without any doubt
It will appeal to my devout
For you see, it doesn't matter
Just a bit of useless patter
Served up on a silver platter
Will not make the faithful scatter
As a plan it does not yield
Any sanity to wield
Truthfulness is much concealed
Holding up my personal shield
Don't dismiss it out of hand
It cannot end up banned
That's not what I would have planned
Cannot stand to have it panned
We waited a lifetime
A trip to New York
We stopped off at Coney's
Watched them get to work
The crowd was amazing
Contestants were there
We got there just in time
Not a second to spare
"They're eating the dogs!"
Someone called out in glee
It really was something
A great sight to see
Down went the first one
Followed closely by two
Swallowed them whole
Did not even chew
Kobayashi and Chestnut
Were not in the game
Still there was excitement
All of the same
Reversal of Fortune
He's out of the game
Let's hope no one suffers
Any more of the same
The contest now ended
A new champ was crowned
Is it any wonder
They can keep them all down?
The more I live the less I know
Forever knowledge all around me grows
I can’t keep up with the latest tech
I just give up and say what the heck
A simple thing like an abacus
Was once the standard for all of us
Then it was replaced by the slide rule
Just something to make me the fool
Pencil and paper, carry the one
That’s how we got calculations done
And if in the middle you broke the lead
The math was simple to do in your head
Now I need a spreadsheet app
Just to track a simple nap
Sleeping once was a luxury
Now a connected blanket over me
Every point of data logged
Wondering who is my secret watchdog
I’m always fearful for my privacy
Or as a victim of piracy
Unplug devices, that’s my rule
One that they never taught in school
We would be better in ancient times
Living today is like a life of crime
She walks out on the stage and takes immediate command
The air around her is electric, holding the mic stand
Belting out her latest hit, she hits the highest notes
But higher than the songs she sings, it’s ideas she promotes
She sings of justice, not for some, for all that might deserve
She sings with fire, her caustic words might for some touch a nerve
She sings and through her words you hear about her true conviction
She sings and no one ever doubts they’re witnessing perfection
The massive stage cannot contain the greatness that she brings
The audience is brought to tears with everything she sings
The world stage is hers to rule, forever will she reign
And we will fondly reminisce when she sings her last refrain
Don’t want to live inside this box
That’s sealed with a thousand locks
Need to be free to spread my wings
And try to do a thousand things
The box is time and its constraints
The hours are just like restraints
I cannot move, I cannot breathe
I struggle for the words to weave
A moment here, a moment there
I twiddle thumbs and wonder where
The inspiration for a song
Just never seems to come along
I sit in silence, wrack my brain
To come up with a new refrain
A turn, a twist a clever thought
But only find myself distraught
If only I could find escape
From this damn box that seals my fate
I'd finally have my thousand words
But sometimes isn't in the cards
Scrambled eggs
It only takes a minute's heat
To make something so fine to eat
A chicken's gift to us
Scrambled eggs
They can be seasoned very well
Just don't leave in any shell
Then we'd have to discuss
Doesn't matter white or brown
Blue and green are nice
But I find in my hometown
With color comes a price
Scrambled eggs
A little milk will stretch them out
Or maybe mix some sauerkraut
That gives a German flair
Scrambled eggs
A soaking batter for a piece of bread
Then we'll have French Toast instead
International fare
I could boil, or I could fry
I could poach or shirr
I could bake, omelet to try
But scrambled is what I prefer
Scrambled eggs
I think I'd eat them every day
There's not a lot more I could say
I think my tastes are fine
Scrambled eggs
It may not be to everyone's fancy
But if it were always up to me
On scrambled eggs I would dine
How I'd love to be a winner
Sometime in my life
Had discussion over dinner
Speaking with my wife
Thought it'd happen in my twenties
Rocking with my band
Take home pay was merely pennies
Didn't meet demand
Made my way upwards of thirty
Still had not won once
Thought success was merely fleeting
Was I such a dunce
Forty came, still not had found fame
Stuck behind a desk
Wishing I had made me a name
Somewhat more or less
Then the fifties, and my body
No longer in its prime
Surely I should not be shoddy
Sure it isn't time
Sixty came and it passed so fast
Didn't see it flee
Worrying how much time had amassed
What would be the key?
Now that seven-oh has struck me
Wondering where I go from here
Still have not read on that marquee
Named a winner in that year
But my dreams are always open
Happen any day I 'spose
I am still forever hoping
When it happens I will know
Lyrics v. 2.4.2
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